We choke (lose confidence) more than we realize

What does it mean to choke when it comes to performance? To me, it means to suddenly lose confidence at a time when confidence is required. Today, while playing volleyball, I realized that I and almost everyone else choked often throughout the game. It dawned on me when I was one of three that stopped to let the other hit the ball. We all choked because no one yelled out “mine”. After that experience, I saw almost everyone choke repeatedly. Those that didn’t choke were the good players.

This post aims to help you (and me) realize what you can to maintain confidence.

How committed are you? (photo by TrailVoice)

why do we choke?

we have little experience

This is simple. We have little experience so we hesitate to make sure we are doing the right thing.

we have less experience

When we have less experience that the people around us, we are more likely to give way.

we have seeds of doubt

Our parents, teachers and peers unintentionally plant seeds of doubt. I remember loving my grade nine computer course but because I thought outside of the box, my teacher gave me a poor grade so I lost my passion.

My wife, as a child, loved going fast on her bike. her parents said ‘don’t go so fast’. In her late teens, my wife started mountain bike racing though she had to deal with the negative thoughts created by her parents.

we don’t look the part

You just need to know the Susan Boyle story to understand this one well.

Susan Boyle\’s First Audition

Good ol’ Susan didn’t look the part and had unemployment as another factor that could steal her confidence. We can get tremendous amounts of inspiration from this special person.

I have another example to share as well. I coach soccer and have very little experience. However, I wear the coach gear, right down to the whistle, and everyone thinks I’m a great coach. I was even make head coach!

what is the problem with choking?

That is simple too. Once you hesitate, the moment is gone, which means you have no time to recover from the hesitation.

where do we choke?

Sports is the main one though also in the workplace.

why should you overcome choking?

When you hesitate, you literally give up. Never give up. Life will just pass you by if you do.

how do we maintain confidence?

What comes to mind immediately is the thought of professional athletes. They learn about mental conditioning and repeat their positive thoughts continually. Eventually, it takes over hesitation and they achieve great things.

Keep in mind how challenging this is because there can only be one ‘best’ at something in the world. When you are around the best, it is easy to give way because the odds are set up that way. However, commit to your mental conditioning and you will go places.

Also keep in mind that in the work place, the ‘best’ becomes your superiors. Even the president of a company is best by the committee. Further, the president also faces competition.

start your mental training

At work or at play, think about what you should be doing so that you act and achieve your potential.

In my volleyball example above, before ever hit by every player, I should be thinking “mine!”, I should have my body ready to pounce and I should be ready to yell “mine!”

At the work place, it gets a little tricky because things are not so clear cut. Here are some things that might get you started:

• think outside of the box
• what would the end user want
• what are the consequences
• what are the implications
• what is the best thing I can do right now

This is what works for me but you might have something entirely different. Use it as inspiration.

more inspiration

While watching the Tour de France on Versus, there was this amazing ‘theory of competition’ segment that I just loved. I’ll share it with you now.

There is the thing that makes life so interesting
the theory of evolution claims only the strong shall survive
maybe so, maybe so
but the theory of competition says
just because they are the strong doesn’t mean they can’t get their asses kicked
that’s right
see what every long shot come from behind underdog will tell you is this
the other guy may in fact be the favorite
the odds may be stacked against you, fair enough
but what the odds don’t know is this isn’t a math test
this is a completely different kind of test
one where passion has a funny way of trumping logic
so before you step up to the starting line
before the whistle blows and the clock starts ticking
just remember out here
the results don’t always add up
no matter what the stats may say
and the experts may think
and the commentators may have predicted
when the race is on all bets are off
don’t be surprised if somebody decides to flip the script take a pass on yelling uncle
and then suddenly, as the old saying goes we got ourselves a game

And they don’t stop there…

Whether or not you win this thing, you got to decide how your gonna walk out of here when its all said and done. Because the game is going to go on, and theirs only one rule your going to need to know about. There are no second chances. There is only this moment, and the next one. Every one of those moments is a test that you get to take one time, and only one time. So if you see an opening tear into it. If you get a shot at victory make damn sure you take it. Seize that moment! That moment is a cross roads, where everything you want will collide with everything standing in your way. You got momentum at your back fear and doubt are thundering like a freight train straight at you. And all you got, the only difference between making history and being history. The only thing, the only thing your can count on at any given moment is YOU. Its you versus them. You versus no. You versus can’t. You versus next year, last year, statistics, excuses. You versus history. You versus the odds. Its you versus second place. Clock is ticking, lets see what you got.

Related posts:

1. Your curse – and how to turn it into your gift
2. BREAK OUT OF YOUR SHELL: Here’s how to overcome shyness
3. you can’t control or cure nervousness – use it to your advantage