Your curse – and how to turn it into your gift

Do you hate it when people make fun of you, criticize you or just says something mean that makes you feel hurt inside?  When this happens, it makes you want to keep things to yourself and you become more introverted.  But, the last thing you want to do is become a boring who was that just to avoid undesirable feedback.    Overcoming this challenge is hard on your own.  This post gives you some ideas as well as some motivation to turn your curse into your gift allowing you to live life to the fullest.

No, there is no voodoo gummy out there with your name on it! © Matt Reinbold

What is your curse?

First off, everyone is cursed so there is no need to begin thinking you are one of the easy targets.  We are all easy targets.

Your curse is what makes you you: your talents, interests, weaknesses, confidence.  It is everything you display to the world around you.  Since we all display many things, it is no wonder we are all easy targets.

For example, if you are a really good runner, there will be the few people who are jealous of your confidence, self-assurance, ability, or whatever, and they will say something that will hurt you to bring you down to their level.  It might not even be immediate; the person might wait for a future opportunity to cut you down.  You don’t have to be a good at something, you just have to express that you are enjoying life.

This has happened many times throughout my life and I am sure this happens to everyone.  For example, when I was around 10 years old, I was running around the school field with a few school-selected classmates.  At that time, the school’s bad seed was out with some friends and he said to me, “Marc, why are your hands hanging down [apparently I was a relaxed runner], are you a faggot?”  This mentally scarred me for years and from that moment, I made a point of running with clenched hands.

Never forget your scars

If you try to forget your scars, you are encouraging yourself to be more cautious, which slows down your achievement in all areas of life.  You will become hesitant and you will fear that you will make mistakes.  This is the worst way to react.  Instead, remember them and they will fuel your successes.

“The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate.” Douglas Engelbart

“The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” Sven Goran Eriksson

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.” Mahatma Gandhi

“Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don’t quit.” Conrad Hilton

“He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.” Raymond Hull

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” e.e. cummings

Wherever you go, go with all your heart.  ~Confucius

Turning your curse into your gift

Understand why you did what you did.  The answer often is because it interested you or because you simply have a can-do attitude.  If you allow the curse to win, you will end up reinventing yourself into someone that you don’t like as much as your real self.  This results in less confidence and a slew of other undesirables.

To turn your curse into your gift (which it is in the first place), remember what scars you.  Write it down somewhere that you see every day.  My favourite is to use an easel binder.  You can write, illustrate and montage each curse onto a separate page, and also create other sheets that are your source of motivation.  This easel binder allows you to flip from one sheet to another, based on what best suits your needs. You could also use sticky notes, whiteboards or anything else that works for you.  It will lead take you through all that you need to do to become obsessed with your gift.

When others see your motivation altar, tell them about it and how it is your motivation.  This will help you release the pain.

More motivation

Turning undesirable habits into habits of confidence can be daunting.  A great way to get inspiration is to read up on people who had huge challenges and were able to achieve great things.  Use this list as a starting point:

• Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Mahatma Gandhi
• Albert Einstein
• Eleanor Roosevelt
• Ralph Bunche
• Mother Teresa
• John Fitzgerald Kennedy
• Anwar El-Sadat
• Cesar Chavez
• Elie Wiesel
• Martin Luther King Jr
• Anne Frank
• The Dalai Lama
• Wangari Maathai
• Aung San Suu Kyi
• Princess Diana

You can read about each of these people in the book Paths to Peace: People Who Changed the World by Jane Zalben. This is a great book to have around because it is an easy read and you can digest a significant amount of motivation and courage.

I wish I knew this when I was a kid.

Related posts:

1. BREAK OUT OF YOUR SHELL: Here’s how to overcome shyness
2. you can’t control or cure nervousness – use it to your advantage
3. We choke (lose confidence) more than we realize